“Have One On Me” by Rumaan Alam

This is such an odd, compelling read I hardly know what to make of it. It’s a short story that appeared in the April/May 2021 edition of Esquire magazine. I haven’t read the magazine in a while and wasn’t aware it still published fiction. Good for them.

I’m not sure this is an actual short story or a novel excerpt. I’m kind of thinking the later because it seems pretty open-ended, though it also has a cohesiveness that makes it seem like a stand-alone short story. The main character in the story seems a bit lost and aimless, and the story feels the same way, so nicely done. The main character keeps on going after his life appears over, and the story has the same feeling. You think, What’s the point? as you continue reading on. There’s a lot of looking back and recalling events from his life that are loosely tied together. Like I said, it’s an oddly compelling read.

It’s a first-person story by an unnamed person, a gay journalist, who has lost his partner, who died unexpectedly before age 40. The death took place some years earlier, though how long ago isn’t clear. I like first-person stories, and believe there should be more of them, and this one really takes advantage of the form.

The journalist reflects on the randomness of life throughout the story, and does random and seemingly pointless activities. He can’t sleep so he goes out on the streets of Minneapolis at 4 a.m. to smoke a cigarette, recalling that was the last time he remembered having a lighter given to him by his now-dead partner. The way the…